I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
