Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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