Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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