So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
