If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
