That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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