Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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