I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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