Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Sober January is a disaster.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize