He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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