I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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