we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
