Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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