I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
