Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
