this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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