I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
