What a fucking waste of an outfit
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
