i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
