Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
