just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
