she woke up with a sticky ear
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
