Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
