last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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