He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
