Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
