And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Randomize
