she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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