Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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