We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
that may or may not have been my penis.
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