Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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