i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
