I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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