Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
