My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
