White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
