Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
