OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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