dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
