I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize