Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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