Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
