On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
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Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
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I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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