i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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