So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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