If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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