Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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