go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
