So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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