wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
