just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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