Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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