What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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