I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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