biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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