I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
