Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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