If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
