Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
