Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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