i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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